32 [T4M] VanBC/PNW/Online - Wordy transgirl looking for ???? in all the wrong places.

2021.10.19 23:50 MaraJae 32 [T4M] VanBC/PNW/Online - Wordy transgirl looking for ???? in all the wrong places.

Heya,

I'm Meredith--also go by Mere, Em, and MJ--a 32 yo transgirl living near Vancouver Canada. I'm originally from the States and pretty isolated up here. I'm not good at being friends with people and I've had a lot of bad experiences with friendship, so I'm pretty isolated and lonely. It really sucks cos I love spending time with people and having friends. Just. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I've made various posts on this sub since I came out as trans a few years ago (I tend to delete them cos I share way too much personal information and then whenever people message me they typically snoop my profile and then know things that they shouldn't know from the post I made.....(I'm a fan of tangents and useless bits (heyo!))). Lolol. At least I amuse myself. :P And like usual, I don't know what exactly I'm looking for in this post.
I guess usually, in the back of my mind and deep in my heart I'm always secretly hoping I'll find a nice man who will sweep me off my feet and help me live a happy little life with them. But I also know that like, that's probably really not gonna happen. I can't say that this post is looking for friends, cos again i have....a lifetime of experiences with friends and mostly it's left me feeling hurt. Probably mostly, I'm making this post as another public journal entry to put down my thoughts and feelings and see if it resonates with anyone fun.
That said, I don't really know what I would journal right now. Like, I been having a bit of a rough go over the last year and so, but really who hasn't? And I guess I feel like that a lot of the time in life. Like, suck it up buttercup, you got it good all in all. But I don't feel that way. I been struggling a lot lately. Last night I had a dream I drowned in a river. The rest of the dream I was just dead in the water. It's the first time I've actually died in a dream and not just woken up. Instead the rest of the dream I just lay there face down in the water. It was pretty peaceful. When i told my....work friend....lolol. She was like, you OK dude? XD The thing is is I am. Cos like I'm not at my lowest for this year. But also I'm not. Cos like. My life has changed so much since I came out a few years ago, and I've just slowly become more and more isolated and lost and it's gotten to the point where I have to hide behind the person I used to be and let him protect me. So even if I go around and everybody calls me Meredith or Em, or whatever, I don't feel like me. I feel like him. And I hate it. But. He keeps me safe. I don't expect most of you to really understand what I'm on about here, or how/why this is so hard for me. But it is.
Two nights ago I had a dream where I was being cute and silly hanging out with a guy and he just randomly kissed me and it took me completely by surprise and made me feel more fem than I've felt in more than a year. It felt like I was one of those girls that those country stars sing about. And I was euphoric. But it was a dream, and I don't think I'll ever experience anything like that irl. And that also sucks.
Oh, I guess one idea I've had for making a post would be to outline my 'ideal' partner. It's not something I usually do because typically I think it's more important to have good chemistry than a person who checks all these boxes (never been a fan of being put into boxes myself). Ok, just tried this and nope. Lolololol. Ok what about traits that I like dudes to have?
*ideal dude take II*
- Beards
- Handy
- Fit/Fittish
- Nerdy
- Empathetic
- Caring

Ok that's good enough. Lol. Um, yea, I really don't know what to say, but I want someone to say it to. So maybe if you're looking for someone to talk to and you don't mind talking to a crazy transgirl. Here I am.

-M
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2021.10.19 23:50 Xero818 [WP] An alien crashes on Earth. This is not the story of the government hunting them down, or anything of the sort. This is the story of the alien and their current housemate learning about each other's cultures.

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2021.10.19 23:50 mck-_- My lucky morning

My lucky morning submitted by mck-_- to donttellmetheodds [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 Eclipsing_star Want to Astral Project but Afraid

I am sure this is common, but I wanted to see if anyone else feels this way, and if anyone has been able to overcome it with any tips or experiences.
I really want to Astral Project- I have had obe’s before unintentionally and they were the most profound, spiritual experiences. But I have never done it willfully, and never able to control it/fly to the cosmos etc.
I want to do it as I feel it’s important to my spiritual life and time on earth, but I am afraid due to sleep paralysis mostly.
I have had that several times and it is terrifying. I also had an amazing obe start that had sleep paralysis elements but wasn’t so scary. But I got too scared still to leave my body.
That time I got scared that I was dying or wouldn’t be able to come back into my body if I left.
Any tips for getting over these fears of both SP and also of not returning into your body?
Thank you! 🙏 ✨💫
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2021.10.19 23:50 Middle_Huckleberry47 SquidShiba Doxxed dev low Mc only 20k Mc and huge potential project german dev is live on telegram big marketing incoming

Welcome to Squid Shiba Launch 08.10 "Red Candle Green Candle" Will you survive and hold strong or sell in the red? Only the best traders will survive! In honor to the hyped Squidgames series and the rising star coin Shiba Inu we created Squid Shiba to get the best of both worlds. Our goal is to create a safespace for both communities to get in touch and talk and discuss about shiba inu and Squid Game. 🌐 Our project differs from the rest because it has a passionate German team working to develop a safety environment and also surrounding the token with massive promos.
🎯Future Goals -Get listed on Coinmarketcap and Coingecko -Create Squid Game x Shiba Inu Nfts -Launch of the Website -Influencer Marketing Campagne including: -Youtube video Promo -Twitter Influencer Promo -Daily reddit Posts -Community Shill raids and more ✅Key notes -Liquidity locked -Voicechat before and after Launch -Verified Contract -Fair Launch
🗒Tokenomics
1.000.000.000.
5% Marketing
10% Dogecoin Rewards
5% Liquidity
⚠️SLIPPAGE
📈BUY 7%
📉SELL 7%
🌎 Contract Address: 0xd92c6d2bfdb29e439d6be356acfcf2bccffc506c
🌎 Pancakeswap:https://pancakeswap.finance/swap?outputCurrency=0xd92c6d2bfdb29e439d6be356acfcf2bccffc506c
🌎Renounced Ownership: https://bscscan.com/token/0xd92c6d2bfdb29e439d6be356acfcf2bccffc506c#readContract
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2021.10.19 23:50 Jack-Earth-2 Found out how to see Toru Hagakure

Found out how to see Toru Hagakure submitted by Jack-Earth-2 to BokuNoMetaAcademia [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 mygullet I learned today while shopping for dinner plates that bone china is almost trans lucid

I learned today while shopping for dinner plates that bone china is almost trans lucid submitted by mygullet to BoneAppleTea [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 SuperBreakfast One of our engagement photos!

One of our engagement photos! submitted by SuperBreakfast to Marriage [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 huysocialzone I spent 5 hours playing this game to try and get robux,but it turn out to be just a scam

I spent 5 hours playing this game to try and get robux,but it turn out to be just a scam submitted by huysocialzone to RobloxScams [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 Much-Bit8069 🤔

Any private chat?
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2021.10.19 23:50 Aidan_1232 Annoying cousin starter pack

Annoying cousin starter pack submitted by Aidan_1232 to starterpacks [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 LICKYOBABY Any ServiceNow freelancers?

Currently working as consultant, looking for some work on the side. I was wondering if there were any recommendations on what sites I should use. Upwork, fiver, or something else?
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2021.10.19 23:50 OmegaDelta24078 Virgin metalord vs chad banbuds

Virgin metalord vs chad banbuds submitted by OmegaDelta24078 to FridayNightHighJinks [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 Bobski72 What does visiting do?

Does reducing Tao heart affect anything? Should I use up all visit attempts?
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2021.10.19 23:50 Mothraaaa A very matter-of-fact Bristolian woman admits to murder in police bodycam footage. The video in this article wild.

A very matter-of-fact Bristolian woman admits to murder in police bodycam footage. The video in this article wild. submitted by Mothraaaa to bristol [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 disslinwixie Some hope ?

Some hope ? submitted by disslinwixie to canadahousing [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 AbsolutPoison Bookstore stole my access code

I had returned an (unopened) access code for Wiley Plus at the beginning of the semester by mail. However, I mistakenly picked a mail service that did not provide a tracking number for my envelope. It's been over a month and they still claim not to have received my return despite having used the proper address and attached the return form. While i could call them multiple times until they find my envelope in the mail room, are there any other ways to recover a lost envelope?
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2021.10.19 23:50 LoveAnimeFan Lucia - Dawn

Lucia - Dawn submitted by LoveAnimeFan to PunishingGrayRaven [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 remlutupse No Fine Print Wine Coupon Code

Here is the No Fine Print Wine Coupon Code
Best deals, coupons and discount you can find there. You can find great discounts on there too.
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2021.10.19 23:50 BoubahYT Rework Astra (Pls)

Astra is a very useless and boring character to play in the current meta/environment. I think she could keep her star gimmick, but what they do should be changed. Her main ability (E) should still be smoke, but the smoke moves slowly around the environment towards enemies. Her secondary ability (Q) should be replaced with ground spikes. if the star is activated, 3 spikes will emerge from the ground, doing 50 damage at base, and 30 more + growing in size with each subsequent spike. her tertiary ability (C) should be replaced with a black hole from the abyss. this black hole would pull any player within its los towards it for 5 seconds, any player that touches the middle will instantly be materialized and die. Her ultimate should be a befalling galaxy. The remains of a once prosperous galaxy will be collected and sent towards the map, in a large radius (about the size of mid on ascent) instantly eradicating anyone, including teammates, objects like guns, traps, walls, etc. it has about a 10 second warning for people to escape it. nice and easy rework to stay simple and true to her lore, yet balance and make her fun.
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2021.10.19 23:50 devoid_constant Came across this convo on the AN sub. Lol

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2021.10.19 23:50 heyitsme098 Valkyrae will be waiting until tomorrow to speak on recent skin care controversy

Valkyrae will be waiting until tomorrow to speak on recent skin care controversy submitted by heyitsme098 to LivestreamFail [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 Alex49919 🤍🤍🤍🤍

🤍🤍🤍🤍 submitted by Alex49919 to TikTokFeet [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 GMuratore Enlightened Centrists be like

Enlightened Centrists be like submitted by GMuratore to GenZedong [link] [comments]


2021.10.19 23:50 axisleft Where to start?

So I graduated law school in 2018. Then I moved to Alaska which requires a score of 280 to pass.
I started studying for the bar in 2019 with barbri, but I kind of had a mental breakdown midway. Since then, I have found out that I had previously undiagnosed ADHD. I had always blamed my struggling in law school on my ptsd.
I now have both my adhd and ptsd treated pretty effectively. I feel like I have a pretty good handle on life. My deadline for myself is to take it in July of next year. I have a pretty flexible schedule, so I can study as much as I need to daily.
The challenge for me just seems to be the raw memorization aspect of it. Like no matter how many times I flip the flash cards over, I just seem unable to commit them to memory for very long. Also, since I’ve been out of school for so long, those soft skills are starting to deteriorate. I feel like I need to take it sooner rather than later.
So, if you were in my shoes, with 9 months to study for it, how would you proceed? Any advice is surely appreciated…
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http://hfplay.ru